I was noticing the scar that runs in a crescent shape along my right shin bone. The skin has a slightly shinier, more pink, and delicate look to it..like the skin could tear at any second. But it doesn’t, fist pump for the resilience of the human body despite how obviously fragile we are at any moment. But that’s not really the reason I decided to ruminate with these words. I was thinking how I probably should have gotten stitches when this scar was inflicted upon me, or which I inflicted upon myself. I had setup a ladder at far to shallow a pitch, especially since the ground was still wet and snowy. Surprisingly I made it up basically to the roof, probably 15 feet off the ground, before the ladder slid out from beneath me. Luckily it crashed against the siding of the house and then bounced off of the power box on the side of the home. The power went out in the customer’s entire home. After bouncing off the power box the ladder then proceeded the additional 8 or so feet to the ground. Somewhere in there my shin slid against a rung of the ladder, or was pinned between the ground and the ladder, I’m not sure which, but it was bleeding something fierce. I probably had some natural pain killers that shot to my leg immediately, and slight shock, so I played it off no big deal. I finished the job, and the fellow was nice enough and had the power company come down and fix the power box right quick. I hurried home, cleaned it up in the tub, if I recall correctly I’m pretty sure I saw some kind of white tissuey stuff, maybe bone, IDK. Like I said, shoulda got stitches. I slapped on some gauze and bandages and threw on a high sock and doctored the wound a couple times a day and it seemed to heal up well enough.
And now I got this scar. The thing used to seem a lot meaner and add significant character say…. if I was wearing shorts. Now she’s barely visible, but nevertheless, character is added. Part of me wonders if stitches would have resulted in a similar scar or not. But I think it’s cool that I have this physical reminder (well yes for being stupid) for something kinda crazy happening to me that I suppose could have been a lot worse.
It’s kind of like tattoos. Which I haven’t gotten one, it has crossed my mind. But the nice thing about a scar is it is random and is not determined by you but by the complete randomness of the event. With a tattoo I would just rack my brain as to what I felt was significant enough to have permanently on my body. I’d probably like the mark just fine, but I’d always question if I should have gotten a different picture or a different quote. What would naturally happen if I opened those floodgates is I would just justify getting another one for what I missed. But there are endless images and words that could define me or look sweet enough to have. I think I’d just end up obsessing and stressing over it, whereas the scar I didn’t have much choice in the matter.
Or how about my Xbox Live gamertag. I’ve been thinking recently of changing it, and similar to the tattoo dilemma, I obsess. What is a cool enough name? Don’t do a fight club reference, you’ve beaten that to death. Maybe a name from Game of Thrones…but who would know what that meant and is it too nerdy? Inception reference….too recent. So that’s why my original is a noise more than it is a name. It’s total and utter nonsense “Shteeef”. But the problem is people mispronounce it constantly. When I get a wicked kill people are yelling out “what the hell, shaa teeef just got me”. If it was Shaaa teeef I would have spelled it Shaateeef. It’s one consonant, one smooth sound “Shhhteeeef”. I’m still baffled why that’s difficult. So regardless of having been relatively satisfied with the ridiculousness of my gamertag for 3 or 4 years, the mispronunciation and the want for something new has me debating what will be my new gamertag. We shall see if it changes. Suggestions are welcome.