Scars add Character

I was noticing the scar that runs in a crescent shape along my right shin bone.  The skin has a slightly shinier, more pink, and delicate look to the skin could tear at any second.  But it doesn’t, fist pump for the resilience of the human body despite how obviously fragile we are at any moment.  But that’s not really the reason I decided to ruminate with these words.  I was thinking how I probably should have gotten stitches when this scar was inflicted upon me, or which I inflicted upon myself.  I had setup a ladder at far to shallow a pitch, especially since the ground was still wet and snowy.  Surprisingly I made it up basically to the roof, probably 15 feet off the ground, before the ladder slid out from beneath me.  Luckily it crashed against the siding of the house and then bounced off of the power box on the side of the home.  The power went out in the customer’s entire home.  After bouncing off the power box the ladder then proceeded the additional 8 or so feet to the ground.  Somewhere in there my shin slid against a rung of the ladder, or was pinned between the ground and the ladder, I’m not sure which, but it was bleeding something fierce.  I probably had some natural pain killers that shot to my leg immediately, and slight shock, so I played it off no big deal.  I finished the job, and the fellow was nice enough and had the power company come down and fix the power box right quick.  I hurried home, cleaned it up in the tub, if I recall correctly I’m pretty sure I saw some kind of white tissuey stuff, maybe bone, IDK.  Like I said, shoulda got stitches.  I slapped on some gauze and bandages and threw on a high sock and doctored the wound a couple times a day and it seemed to heal up well enough.

And now I got this scar.  The thing used to seem a lot meaner and add significant character say…. if I was wearing shorts.  Now she’s barely visible, but nevertheless, character is added.  Part of me wonders if stitches would have resulted in a similar scar or not.  But I think it’s cool that I have this physical reminder (well yes for being stupid) for something kinda crazy happening to me that I suppose could have been a lot worse.

It’s kind of like tattoos.  Which I haven’t gotten one, it has crossed my mind.  But the nice thing about a scar is it is random and is not determined by you but by the complete randomness of the event.  With a tattoo I would just rack my brain as to what I felt was significant enough to have permanently on my body.  I’d probably like the mark just fine, but I’d always question if I should have gotten a different picture or a different quote.  What would naturally happen if I opened those floodgates is I would just justify getting another one for what I missed.  But there are endless images and words that could define me or look sweet enough to have.  I think I’d just end up obsessing and stressing over it, whereas the scar I didn’t have much choice in the matter.

Or how about my Xbox Live gamertag.  I’ve been thinking recently of changing it, and similar to the tattoo dilemma, I obsess.  What is a cool enough name?  Don’t do a fight club reference, you’ve beaten that to death.  Maybe a name from Game of Thrones…but who would know what that meant and is it too nerdy?  Inception reference….too recent.  So that’s why my original is a noise more than it is a name.  It’s total and utter nonsense “Shteeef”.  But the problem is people mispronounce it constantly.  When I get a wicked kill people are yelling out “what the hell, shaa teeef just got me”.  If it was Shaaa teeef I would have spelled it Shaateeef.  It’s one consonant, one smooth sound “Shhhteeeef”.  I’m still baffled why that’s difficult.  So regardless of having been relatively satisfied with the ridiculousness of my gamertag for 3 or 4 years, the mispronunciation and the want for something new has me debating what will be my new gamertag.  We shall see if it changes.  Suggestions are welcome.


2 thoughts on “Scars add Character

  1. Great post. Really enjoyed it. I don’t think I had heard that story about the scar. I have as couple little ones and I can’t remember how I got them.

    The only one that I do remember is a scar on my bone that I got from breaking my collar bone at five. But no one can see that one.

    The gamertag thing I totally get. By default I used the same thing that I use on all my social networking site to have a consistent “brand.” But that’s based on my real name since I want people to associate those things with me and my personal brand for business reasons.

    The gamertag is just for fun. And no one uses anything having to do with their real name! So feel kind of silly sometimes for having used something based on my real name.

    I cracked up reading the end of your blog, because have totally done the same thing. I’ve thought about changing it, but then I have a hard time coming up with something that feels good enough and meaningful at the same time.

    I actually dig your gamertag. It’s unique and reminds me of your personality. That’s hilarious that people can’t pronounce it right given that it’s a sound. It’s spelled just like it sounds.

    Maybe I’ll change it at some point. I notice that people often have pretty random names. I also notice that the letter X gets way too much use.

    I guess we’ll see if I can ever think of something better.

  2. This is the first time i’ve visited your blog. Suffice to say i’m quite intrigued by the variety and full examination of the thoughts you chose to write over. My over all impression is you have a wonderful way with words and an ability to express clearly what you mean to say. As someone who struggles daily getting points across in a way others will understand, that ability is not something I take for granted. Therefore, i’m sure if you stick with the blogging and writing, you’ll end up with your book.
    As for literary endeavors, as with most projects in art, I too have discovered that the compulsion and need to physical follow through an idea to the end often appears in spurts. It’s as though that physical drive can only last so long before it is used up. Than, no matter how often you think of something grand to do, a recovery time is necessary before the stored mojo brings you back to that zone. So keep up the positive thinking and wait for that burst of energy to hit you again.

    (im just throwing my two cents in while I’m here about the threads I read today into one comment instead of posting a bunch of little ones)

    As for your video name, shteef is a pretty nifty one. my best friend once did the same thing where she landed her fingers on the keyboard and what appeared was her AIM address for years. Hers, fortunately (or Un if you think about it that way) didnt make a connecting word. So we had years of fun making variations of what the word Could be. we all ended up with our own favorite which we used regardless. Perhaps if no phrase or word has hit the right spot for you yet, and you are bored of your current name, stick with what worked the first time and just pick a sound or a few letters. or drop your finger to a page of a book and see what word you land on. the puzzling of scorned ideas though rings a familiar tune. I do as that commenter does, and leave everything mostly with the same title since it works and it still brings me to smile. Even if it is outdated and I receive funny looks for it.

    The scar vs tattoo idea is interesting. That they’re two mediums for the same effect. I’ve always loved my scars too and find the people who think they mar a person’s body, weird. What better way to remember an incident or funny story or epic adventure. That you cant choose scars in the way you can tattoos, does add a lot of simple truth to them. However, it seems both scars and tattoos have the ability to be superficial and starkly truthful. Some people get tattoos to flavor their skin, others to keep with them a very emotional and life changing event with them forever. Between are a myriad of layers of purpose and frills. Scars as well can mean nothing at all, or add character in vision or by broadcasting maybe something you’d prefer to hide.

    Either way my ramblings are done for the day.
    Looking forward to more posts,

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